The GOOD, BAD, UGLY and the BEAUTIFUL

THERE IS DEFINATELY A DIFFERENCE

OF THE GOOD THE BAD AND

THE BEAUTIFUL!

I have seen it myself.  I have cried alone, hidden my tears and smiled while I cried in my heart.  I have lost all faith in people that know you as they act as is what is going on in your body is a contagion.  

I have seen the worst of people, and I have seen the BEAUTY people have within just come out.... without hesitation.  This has happened the last couple of days.   

THIS IS WHERE I BRING UP THE GOOD;

I was laying in bed with my daughter and she said Marme (what she calls me), I want to  braid your hair..... so she went and got a band and boar brush to keep my hair that has not fallen out and she pulled it softly to the side.  She lovingly braided my hair to the side and said to in her exact words" Marme, you are beautiful, and you know what?  It is from the inside not jus the outside because I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen"  Those are teary moments of joy.  I wrote last night what happened with this wonderfully beautiful woman and I like to think I am like her. 

From the inside no matter what is on the outside..... just BEAUTIFUL.  She is DEMURE!

I am astounded that she has the love within her to say the things she does to life me up!  She and NY are praying for me to take care of me:)  I love that!  

I messaged many women today and told them I was not ignoring them, but that I was really ill right now.  It is hard to feel acid all the time and pain in your gut, but with people like her and I have others  that lift me up.  it is really uplifting to know that there are good people out there and not just the ones that bring you down.  

That would leave me to the BAD..... 

When my I saw my daughter on the computer and asked her what she was doing, she was looking for 'long thick wigs' for me.  I smiled and my heart felt that ping of love which can only be made by a loving gesture.  She and I sat together and asked people questions and asked people to respond to us when they had a chance. NOW THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL PART....(ABOVE)

I started this 2 days ago but feeling really ill I was unable to finish this blog until tonight. It took most of the day to complete it.  SO...as I said this part is just heartbreaking and brings me to the BAD

I went on and tried to talk to the lady that had wigs galore.  I thought she could help me as all we did was ask her to help us find the right wig and mention the wig drive, if she might have any extra's and feel called to donate one it would be wonderful.  

I found out that I am now blocked.  

Now going through treatments and all the medicines as well as feeling awful and not able to do all the things you want to do at the time,  is definitely difficult; you add treatments of Physical Therapy, due to limited motion of the arms, and nurses coming to you as your heart is now an issue more so than they thought to begin with, and you have a very Bad feeling person.  You mix that with a couple of women that block you and you have a very hurt woman wondering what she has done to deserve all of this.  

THAT MY FRIENDS BRINGS ME TO THE UGLY!

Where is compassion in this world anymore?  Are people so skeptical of others due to their own sense of morality that they have lost EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING?  Well I started to really think of closing my closet.  I have an autistic son, a 12 year old daughter looking for wigs for me with rude people  (attitudes are not all the time, however it is very consistent).   have felt COMPLETELY alone in this aside from one of my closest friends oddly from Posh.  It is like people think you are ill and all of a sudden treat you as a pariah.  No compassion, No anything.  I have had to spend my own money on here to have  the  Breast Cancer Pink Bow Auction.  To begin with, I first thought ladies would want to help out and sell their goods with profits being theirs and on top of it would go to the Need for Breast Cancer..... Ummmm' No, not so much.    

I guess most people are not trusting enough to do good things with a person they do not know of or know period.  Well on this site you have to consider there are literally millions of closets!   You would think that some ladies would be kind and willing to jump in.  I really saw the UGLY in the people that I believe is to their detriment but I also have to have hope that they can show the better part of themselves,  when given the chance.  I made the decision to take time away from Posh; after explaining to some ladies I had been working with how sick I felt,  I went through the day and allowed myself to rest.  It has been hard, but I have done it none the less.  I am not, nor have I ever been one to just sit and do nothing.  I love doing things for others.  I love doing things for those I love!  I have passions, photography, writing and I just love to be passionate about how I do things. I have always been the type of person that tries to see the best in every person.   My will to see beauty in life has set me up to think others are the same and that is just not the case... unfortunately.
  

NOW...... MY FRIENDS, THAT BRINGS ME TO THE BEAUTIFUL!!!

AFTER all of the ugly side of people and the bad part... I decided that I had to look at all the beauty that I had seen on that day. My son saying "I ub u omma", my daughter and her thinking of me to the point that she was looking for wigs to help me.  knowing I couldn't afford much as I had spent most everything I had minus food money on items for the cause.  She helped me donate bra's into the empty box of bra's, she braided what hair I have to the side in a loving way as we spoke and laughed about her pulling hairs out as she braided it;    I received a couple of boxes from two extra ordinary YOUNG ladies that sent bra's in the numbers!  Nice bra's and the packages were wrapped so beautifully, with love and care that most women don't even do anymore.  I find that sad, but I am on a beauty role here .... my daughter had asked me about a wig I loved as I had m hair cut that way at one point.  I could not afford the price she wanted and I received a message from her after having a chat with her and she read some on my page bringing her to tears.  She shared with me her run in with cancer and her personal story.  I finally told her it was me, and asked her to read my blog.  Before I could get her to find the blog she came back with "I am donating this to you".  And then "I am donating MORE, I have more".  She has been on my mind since!  I have had a Lady donate to the wig fund from her mother passing several years due to Breast Cancer.  I felt she is truly kind and wanting to help.  
SO TODAY, I received a couple of boxes as I stated with not only items I purchased, but bra's, bra's and more bra's!  I started to cry!  It was working... my plea was being heard!   In addition they sent items for the Auction, and not just  what they could not sell, they were name brand and outstanding beautiful hearts that gave without a thought of what they would make or stand to lose if they sent the items to me.  
I can tell you that I believe that the human spirit wants to be beautiful...... it is just fear that prohibits them from doing what is the right thing.   IF LADIES, YOUNGER OR OLDER WOULD JUST OPEN UP I COULD HONESTLY SAY THAT BEAUTY IS IN EVERYONE AND INSPIRES ME TO GIVE MORE NO MATTER HOW I MAY FEEL.  I  am not certain if you Ladies know, but my whole closet with a few exceptions is up for Auction.  Not just picked out pieces.  Everything from Children's items to Clothing.  Believe me I take the best of care in what I do have.  So when I say I think the Beauty is in everyone,  I honestly believe at the root of all is inspired to love and give.  
This renews my belief in ladies on site and I will continue until I cannot do so any longer.  BEAUTY PREVAILS!  AS IT SHOULD!!  THE SMILES BROUGHT TO ME TODAY AND MY DAUGHTER WERE CHERISHED AND I THANK YOU PERSONALLY!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  SIMPLY ...... TRUE!