Watch out for Cruella DaVilles ........

What do you do with a CRUELLA??

My experiences of the not so nice of the normal person or Cruella's in Real Life!  ( or on line)

DEDICATED: to any little miss thing that comes to my closet and thinks she rules the roost!

It is  not a surprise in life that there are those you LOVE, those you keep in touch with and those that you wish you had NEVER had to deal with!    But what do you do?  

I mean we all have our run in's with those that have bad attitudes in life.  But that is a face to face situation.  What do you do then?  Well you have several options, the worst I would think is going to jail for assault and battery!  But, for the most, we just get really agitated  and go on through our day, some being on the grumbly side and some being on the happy go lucky side.  Meaning?  It ruins a day for some and for others it just flies away with the wind, like a soft feather.  It really is a choice you know and I wish I could go deeper but they dynamics of this one  are just too deep to dwell into.  BUT....those that know me, know I have to dwell a little, especially because it is a BLOG!

Now normally for me, I must confess.... I may say something like, 'sounds like you've had a hard day', in which I get either a dirty look or their attitude changes....AMAZING what words can do .... for the good or the bad!!  I mean you can forget somethings..... but WORDS ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN, no matter how hard you want them to be.   That is why they HURT, so much.... and believe me when I say hurt, they can do damage.  

My EX would take it out on me and act all cute and "oh no problem" with others.   However when we got home...... boy was it a different story!!  ..... AND that story ended in EX Remember?  

My man now, has a  beautiful way of dealing with things and it only affects me,  when I see it affects him.  He SHRUGS it off for the most part.

The other day I came across a young person selling somethings on that still unmentioned site I said I belong to and was blown away!  I did not know she had such venom in her, I knew she was rude, but not like this.... until I had blocked her and wondered where the ring was for the bundle and auction.  So I went to her page and re-read our conversation.

This YOUNGER part of the site I belong to was very slow at understanding much of what was asked of her it seemed throughout our conversation.  She seemed rude at times and I actually had to ask myself if she had a disability.  I mean, I know I have my disabilities.  One from a life and death type car accident and one from the Cancer that has hit me really hard.

It has caused everything from dysmorphia, lymphedema, acute migraines and bleeding from my nose when physically ill (hugging the porcelain goddess).   The pain is incredible from the amputations as I call them, and you get phantom pains that just hurt like there is no tomorrow.  One has to understand that I have not only had Mastectomies with sentinal nodes removed but back to back surgeries due to this being in my lymphatic system.  When it is there, it can attack any part of your body and it has.  I have had so many surgeries in the last three years, bleeding profusely to the point of bleeding out and having many units put back into my body due to the bleeding.  I have at times lost 3/4 of my bodies blood.  This gives you a good pictures yes?  You are messing with nerves that go all over your body and thus makes you have the phantom pains and not even be able to use some of your body at times.  In addition, I have a heart condition.  Now whether this is from the above or due to other reasons, we just don't know yet, thus I am going through many tests.  The tumors removed seem to be growing and have to be constantly looked at and believe me, no one wants to be scoped in what they view as an abnormal or intrusive way.   So it is not unusual for someone else to have their issues.   After reading what she wrote, after I blocked and reported her for harrassment, (which I NEVER have done before) I had to wonder if she was just evil or dropped on her head at birth!

Now I consider my cause of raising anything I can, for a purpose many fall victim to, a cause worthy of fighting for.  I decided that 2 1/2 weeks after my surgery...... drainage tubes still in place and all.  My stitches had not even been removed, I was in major pain and still..... This is my purpose.  You can see by my page that I have only sold 2 items I believe and have put MUCH more money into this than I have gotten out of it.  So for someone to tell me that I was a bitch and using my Cancer as a way to get things ..... blah blah blah, really hurt me. It wasn't so much that she called me a bitch because if I have to be in real life, I can be.   HOWEVER that is not what defines me as a person.  At first I was enraged!  HOW ON EARTH COULD ANYONE BE SO CALLOUS?????!  SO CRUEL AND SO EVIL TO SAY SUCH A THING?!?!  I sat back and soon my twin called me. I was explaining this to her and started reading what was said.  I just couldn't stop crying.  I tried to hide it, but I could not any longer.  I know that she was angered by what I read but she did not say that exactly.  As I continued to read I could tell she also was not only in shock, but shall I say PISSED OFF??  She and I are very protective of one another and if someone did that to her..... OH, LORDIE.... HOLD ME BACK!!!!

NOW.....This person I speak of is really young, I wonder what life has in store for her..... it's not really my concern I guess, but I hope and pray for her sake, she changes her attitude.  Life may deal her a really hard ride if she continues like this.  But then again, maybe she was really dropped on her head at birth!  Perhaps she has a form of controlled Tourette's Syndrome?  Never heard of that but hey there is always a first.  

I would like to empower those that need to know how to deal with the Cruella's of this world, either in a platform as such, or in the real life scenario.  For those of you that read this and Those that read this and ARE the Cruella's out there....  KNOW THIS.... there are wayyyy more of US smarter and wiser people out there than you would think!!!  I think that comment deserves waaayy more than just three explanation marks but I will leave it at three! lol

THIS IS WHERE I WILL POST MY WARNING AND GIVE JUST A LITTLE LOVING ADVISE BEFORE I GO ON...

In life I have had my ups and downs and lets just say that the ups far out way the downs.
I have had beautiful children, some grown and others not all the way .... YET.  Although they think they know it all at this age, I am more than willing to give someone a pass and will handle something eloquently when needed.  IF a MUST .... I, like a momma in the wild, may even nip!   I have NEVER harmed my children, but boy the stories they come up with... make me wish I had nipped way harder than I did! UGH!  They are poor Cinderella's.   Now in retrospect, at times I should have been more demanding and others ... well lets just say I wasn't demanding enough to have the respect a parent should be given.  ESPECIALLY when they gave the greatest gift their is... LIFE.  SO I have 7! Yes I said it... 7.  Five are grown and 2 are not all the way there YET!  I have almost three grandchildren.  Two are two or almost two and one is on his/her way.  As I am typing, she is forming a kidney!!   How beautiful is that?  LOL  Okay so there is a method to my madness here... I speak of this because it IS pertinent.   I AM a SEASONED Mother.  I know how to deal with smart arses and I will not be spoken at or to in a specific way.  I set an example and live by it and the counting to 3 thing??  ROFL IS BULLSHIT!  You make the rules.... draw a line and keep the consequence you told them they would face!    A CHILD WILL GO ALL THE WAY TO WHAT EVER LINE YOU EMPART.  ONE  (1) is THE GREATEST number!   EVERYTHING begins with 1!
 Even a Criminal knows that they have 3 strikes and what happens?  THEY PUSH THE LIMIT and most go back and back until life in prison is at their feet.  My point?  Counting to THREE DOES NOT WORK!!!   USE 1!

I will continue to help you out here... trust me!            

I have learned this in my years of age:

1) The above applies to the site I am on also.  I control the limit to what abuse or harrassment I will take
allow in my life.  But there are times you don't even see it coming~! Know that and give yourself a pass.
2) IT IS BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND JUST KEEP ON WALKING.... if the situation allow you to do so. Now in a forum such as this, you should do just that.
NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT:   Let them be the one that gets the harrassment report from POSH!
3) In life, we have the good, the bad and the ugly... as I have spoken already.  If we dwell on any of these too much we become part of what that is....... I personally think most of  us want to be the good or the LOVE which I HAVEN'T MENTIONED....... I CHOOSE LOVE!  WITH THE LOVE COMES ALL THAT IS GOOD.   IF YOU DWELL IN THE OTHER, WORRY, ANGER AND DESTRUCTION COMES!!  These are my words of wisdom.  INTENTION is EVERYTHING!  SO ...... WHAT DO YOU DO?

 Bottom line?  Do what you want to bring to you!  Ask for God's help ..... if that is who you believe in... or the Higher Power (being American Indian, I relate to both).   BUT..... I ASK YOU

W  H  A  T      I  S       Y  O  U  R      INTENTION??????  BECAUSE YOU WILL DRAW IT TO YOU!

IF MY HEART HAD WINGS.... I WOULD FLY AND SPREAD THIS WORD TO YOU ALL... THIS IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH THE CRUELLA'S OF THIS WORLD~  CUT THEIR ROPE LOSE AND LEAVE THEM BEHIND IF THEY JUST DON'T GET IT.... BUT DON'T FALL WITH THEM:)

The REST is UP to YOU!

THESE ARE MY WORDS OF WISDOM TO YOU.... OH AND ONE MORE THING... DON'T FORGET TO WEAR SUNSCREEN!  LOL

The GOOD, BAD, UGLY and the BEAUTIFUL

THERE IS DEFINATELY A DIFFERENCE

OF THE GOOD THE BAD AND

THE BEAUTIFUL!

I have seen it myself.  I have cried alone, hidden my tears and smiled while I cried in my heart.  I have lost all faith in people that know you as they act as is what is going on in your body is a contagion.  

I have seen the worst of people, and I have seen the BEAUTY people have within just come out.... without hesitation.  This has happened the last couple of days.   

THIS IS WHERE I BRING UP THE GOOD;

I was laying in bed with my daughter and she said Marme (what she calls me), I want to  braid your hair..... so she went and got a band and boar brush to keep my hair that has not fallen out and she pulled it softly to the side.  She lovingly braided my hair to the side and said to in her exact words" Marme, you are beautiful, and you know what?  It is from the inside not jus the outside because I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen"  Those are teary moments of joy.  I wrote last night what happened with this wonderfully beautiful woman and I like to think I am like her. 

From the inside no matter what is on the outside..... just BEAUTIFUL.  She is DEMURE!

I am astounded that she has the love within her to say the things she does to life me up!  She and NY are praying for me to take care of me:)  I love that!  

I messaged many women today and told them I was not ignoring them, but that I was really ill right now.  It is hard to feel acid all the time and pain in your gut, but with people like her and I have others  that lift me up.  it is really uplifting to know that there are good people out there and not just the ones that bring you down.  

That would leave me to the BAD..... 

When my I saw my daughter on the computer and asked her what she was doing, she was looking for 'long thick wigs' for me.  I smiled and my heart felt that ping of love which can only be made by a loving gesture.  She and I sat together and asked people questions and asked people to respond to us when they had a chance. NOW THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL PART....(ABOVE)

I started this 2 days ago but feeling really ill I was unable to finish this blog until tonight. It took most of the day to complete it.  SO...as I said this part is just heartbreaking and brings me to the BAD

I went on and tried to talk to the lady that had wigs galore.  I thought she could help me as all we did was ask her to help us find the right wig and mention the wig drive, if she might have any extra's and feel called to donate one it would be wonderful.  

I found out that I am now blocked.  

Now going through treatments and all the medicines as well as feeling awful and not able to do all the things you want to do at the time,  is definitely difficult; you add treatments of Physical Therapy, due to limited motion of the arms, and nurses coming to you as your heart is now an issue more so than they thought to begin with, and you have a very Bad feeling person.  You mix that with a couple of women that block you and you have a very hurt woman wondering what she has done to deserve all of this.  

THAT MY FRIENDS BRINGS ME TO THE UGLY!

Where is compassion in this world anymore?  Are people so skeptical of others due to their own sense of morality that they have lost EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING?  Well I started to really think of closing my closet.  I have an autistic son, a 12 year old daughter looking for wigs for me with rude people  (attitudes are not all the time, however it is very consistent).   have felt COMPLETELY alone in this aside from one of my closest friends oddly from Posh.  It is like people think you are ill and all of a sudden treat you as a pariah.  No compassion, No anything.  I have had to spend my own money on here to have  the  Breast Cancer Pink Bow Auction.  To begin with, I first thought ladies would want to help out and sell their goods with profits being theirs and on top of it would go to the Need for Breast Cancer..... Ummmm' No, not so much.    

I guess most people are not trusting enough to do good things with a person they do not know of or know period.  Well on this site you have to consider there are literally millions of closets!   You would think that some ladies would be kind and willing to jump in.  I really saw the UGLY in the people that I believe is to their detriment but I also have to have hope that they can show the better part of themselves,  when given the chance.  I made the decision to take time away from Posh; after explaining to some ladies I had been working with how sick I felt,  I went through the day and allowed myself to rest.  It has been hard, but I have done it none the less.  I am not, nor have I ever been one to just sit and do nothing.  I love doing things for others.  I love doing things for those I love!  I have passions, photography, writing and I just love to be passionate about how I do things. I have always been the type of person that tries to see the best in every person.   My will to see beauty in life has set me up to think others are the same and that is just not the case... unfortunately.
  

NOW...... MY FRIENDS, THAT BRINGS ME TO THE BEAUTIFUL!!!

AFTER all of the ugly side of people and the bad part... I decided that I had to look at all the beauty that I had seen on that day. My son saying "I ub u omma", my daughter and her thinking of me to the point that she was looking for wigs to help me.  knowing I couldn't afford much as I had spent most everything I had minus food money on items for the cause.  She helped me donate bra's into the empty box of bra's, she braided what hair I have to the side in a loving way as we spoke and laughed about her pulling hairs out as she braided it;    I received a couple of boxes from two extra ordinary YOUNG ladies that sent bra's in the numbers!  Nice bra's and the packages were wrapped so beautifully, with love and care that most women don't even do anymore.  I find that sad, but I am on a beauty role here .... my daughter had asked me about a wig I loved as I had m hair cut that way at one point.  I could not afford the price she wanted and I received a message from her after having a chat with her and she read some on my page bringing her to tears.  She shared with me her run in with cancer and her personal story.  I finally told her it was me, and asked her to read my blog.  Before I could get her to find the blog she came back with "I am donating this to you".  And then "I am donating MORE, I have more".  She has been on my mind since!  I have had a Lady donate to the wig fund from her mother passing several years due to Breast Cancer.  I felt she is truly kind and wanting to help.  
SO TODAY, I received a couple of boxes as I stated with not only items I purchased, but bra's, bra's and more bra's!  I started to cry!  It was working... my plea was being heard!   In addition they sent items for the Auction, and not just  what they could not sell, they were name brand and outstanding beautiful hearts that gave without a thought of what they would make or stand to lose if they sent the items to me.  
I can tell you that I believe that the human spirit wants to be beautiful...... it is just fear that prohibits them from doing what is the right thing.   IF LADIES, YOUNGER OR OLDER WOULD JUST OPEN UP I COULD HONESTLY SAY THAT BEAUTY IS IN EVERYONE AND INSPIRES ME TO GIVE MORE NO MATTER HOW I MAY FEEL.  I  am not certain if you Ladies know, but my whole closet with a few exceptions is up for Auction.  Not just picked out pieces.  Everything from Children's items to Clothing.  Believe me I take the best of care in what I do have.  So when I say I think the Beauty is in everyone,  I honestly believe at the root of all is inspired to love and give.  
This renews my belief in ladies on site and I will continue until I cannot do so any longer.  BEAUTY PREVAILS!  AS IT SHOULD!!  THE SMILES BROUGHT TO ME TODAY AND MY DAUGHTER WERE CHERISHED AND I THANK YOU PERSONALLY!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  SIMPLY ...... TRUE!

RENEWED HOPE IN THE HUMAN SPIRIT

A SPIRIT CAN RENEW YOUR FAITH IN HUMAN KIND

AS I WRITE THIS I AM FILLED WITH THE JOY THAT HAS FILLED MY HEART.  I HAVE MET TWO EARTHBOUND ANGELS TODAY!  

I am going through a terribly rough time and as I write this I am teary eyed, as two people touched my heart today.  Well make that three if you include my daughter who is not an adult yet... in fact far from it.  I had a very difficult few days with being ill.  I have not written in my blog for a while as I either was in fetal position in pain or just disgusted at how some people can be.  

I have found that on the site I sell my belongings for the cause of Breast Cancer... actually the Breast Cancer Pink Bow cause.... which is turing into a foundation.  Part of my legacy if I am to leave this world or not.  As I have worked since 2 and a half weeks after my back to back surgeries I thought to myself, GOD  WOULD NOT ALLOW ME TO GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS FOR NO REASON AT ALL.  I still believe that... so I became proactive and immediately started to post my belongings on a site where you can make money.  Not for me, not for anyone that needs money, but for those that have had a form of cancer.  In my case it is Breast Cancer.  Now when it is in the nodes you have  a  problem.  It is in my nodes.... just how do you tell people you love that this is what is happening to you... just how do you hide it?  Now when you are hugging the porcelain commode it seems likely that they will ask why are you sick?  My answer... I don't feel well. that is all.  I don't want to worry anyone.  Especially my young ones.  

I had tried on this site many times to get others to help for the cause and no one listened, so I put up my whole closet, minus a few things... and I mean a few.... and started listing. No sales.  Nothing.  I started to tell people what my cause was for, no reaction and no help.... as time has gone on, in only well shall I say under 3 months, I have under 10 women helping and have been so discouraged in the human race.  Certainly if it was them, they would seek help.  Some find none, some find help but have to pay high insurance for what they are going through.  some just give up.  I WON"T GIVE UP!

My hair is very long and has started to fall out to where I do a nice comb over.  Now men can shave their head and look  normal.  A woman?  NO.  We are expected to have hair, in fact it is primal.  I had a beautiful day with my daughter, cuddling in bed today.  I left the room and was very ill.  When I cam back she was on the site looking for wigs for me.  LONG Dark Brown hair and one short one that is adorable but way out of price range. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she didn't want me to feel bad about my hair falling out... that I was beautiful to her inside and out.  It brought tears to my eyes.  Straight from my heart.  I checked my news feed a bit later only to find that someone had sold a wig out of a bundle I had put together the night before.  I was just sickened by this and thought how stupid and uncaring can a person be.... I forgot to mention there were many messages from this person through the night and I had not checked at all since I hurt and was in the bathroom most of it.  In her message she got cocky with me and I had to not let it get to me as my daughter comes first.  But how could someone do that?  Those are NOT the rules of the selling on the site I am on... when you make a bundle you stick to it.  Well I ended up posting something about helping out AGAIN.  Most of my site is what my daughter has said or what the needs of the many are, etc. I then checked the news feed again, and it was the perfect piece for our pre-presentation of things we will be auctioning in Breast Cancer Month.  I purchased it and guess (Still don't know what I did) made them angry.  They cancelled the order.  So I called one of the two ladies that really come through and was just shaken.  I had hoped to have a nice first real conversation but needed help.  She got the person to sell to her..... which is wonderful!  We have our showcase back again!  Now in the mix of this, I was missing valuable time with my daughter and that was not okay with me.  I kept getting ill and had to make excuses.  She is afraid enough without thinking her momma may die. My two earthbound angels..... my daughter and the other, who shall remain nameless unless she choses otherwise! I received a text from her and she told me that she got the piece and another high item as well for very little.  I don't have much in money so I do what I can with it.  We are now trying to figure out how to pay for it.  She is out of pocket and I don't want that unless she does. She went to church and came home, prayed and lit a candle for me.  She let me know it would burn all the way down.  I love what she said, it lifted my spirits.  My daughter is not home tonight, she is at her biological fathers home.  This is hard on her and thus hard on me.  I have a heart condition and I fear the unknown...... I would be lying if I said otherwise, but I have to give it to GOD.  That is all I can do.  And forgive those that have wronged me.  This is the path I have chosen.  

I have been in bed really sad tonight and looking at wigs that have been sold and kept going back to the one she loved for me.  I asked the lady if she could let me know when she was available to ask questions to.  I don't know much about wigs.... I don't know the difference in lace or half or anything.  SO ..... I get a message from her and I answered asking all sorts of questions.  It came to her daughter having had Breast Cancer... My mind went to what if it was MY daughter.. how horribly scary that must have been.... This LADY that I have never met asked me a question and I told her It was me that had it.  A few seconds later, she wrote she wanted to donate it to me if I would pay shipping.  I am still stunned. I started to cry the kind of tears you cannot describe...  The kind that make your heart feel that an angel has touched you.  This is my third earthbound angel of the day. She then sent another message that she had wanted to donate other wigs and to be honest I am in awe of this special lady.  ONE person makes such a difference when millions are out there on this site and I only have a few that are helping or say buy something and I will donate.  What she has done has reinstated the lack of confidence in others.  That part of others that I thought no one had anymore but a few.   I was amazed and crying like a baby.  I still as I write and in disbelief!  

I write this not to guilt anyone, or to put anyone down.  but to be honest, that is why I have not been blogging my journey.  She has put me back on my path just like that... like a snap of a finger I am encouraged about others and believe in my soul that GOD will make this happen.  GOD will help us out and in the end.... we will help many.  I won't stop until he stops me... even if I have to rest.  I now realize that without rest there won't be a me.  So I take it upon myself to thank that special lady with the candle and prayers.... helping with a problem, and my daughter who keeps me going, my son who says I ub u ommy!  and to that special lady that I can't even fathom.  She has re-inspired me.  I will forever be thankful!  XOXO   my heart is all I have to give!  LOVE... and THANK YOU!  you know who you are... and so do I!